I was having a terrible day. Actually, it started the night before when a tiny thought got bigger. I lost sleep and my brain spun out of control. Normally, I am not a “night spinner.” I tend to melt down long before the “what ifs” take over, so when my alarm clock went off at 6:00, I was in for a rude awakening.

The next hour of the morning was a full-family calliope of sharp words, tears, impatience and stress. Even the cat was a jerk.

By the time I arrived at work, I was worked up, to say the least. My next-door office mate and friend checked in on me and her simple words, “Are you okay?” were met with a repeat performance that ended with “fish on dry land” gasping and another round of tears.

“I just can’t today.” I responded, as she closed my door. 

Do you ever have those days when your emotional you takes over? 

Knowing that I needed a minute, my coworker disappeared. I worked without interruption for several hours and recovered. I moved through my stack of work, breathed and took a beat. When I finally got up to get a cup of coffee, I noticed something incredible and intuitive on my door: 

No one wants to interrupt a recording.

I have a sign on my door that indicates where I am, if I am in a meeting or out of the office — but I don’t have a sign that says, “I just can’t today.” For some reason, that kind of sign is too much to admit. It indicates defeat to anyone who walks by. Why is my own mental health — what I need emotionally — something I am willing to ignore? Why, at 48, do I find the stigma of being overwhelmed and overwrought too much to reveal to others.

I talk a lot about the tools I use to provide self care. Relax Melodies, Antistress  and Gravitarium apps allow me to decompress when I need a break. MyLife gives me an opportunity to check in and prescribes a meditation or workout that might help when I need to regulate. What I need is an app that gives me permission to take a minute when I need it without fear of what others think of me.

My friend gave me the gift of not having to face colleagues with a tear-stained face. She made sure my emotional well-being was being considered and gave me uninterrupted time to get on top of my work load, which was the only thing I felt I could control that day.

Sometimes we all need permission to “record.”

Rachel Herron, SDI Facilitator