Looking Up

Posted by Stephanie Lawless on 11/1/2019 7:00:00 AM

The start of this school year was a little bit of a whirlwind for me. Nothing out of the normal, just a lot of small things piled on top of normal life.  I found myself feeling overwhelmed. While I was doing a training at Hope elementary I was trying to connect my iPad wirelessly to the projector. I had followed the correct steps, but my iPad told me I needed an access code. I looked around the desk, on the wall next to the desk, in the drawer. Nothing. So I asked Kathy Kramer if she knew the code, because Kathy tends to have all the answers. Once I asked, someone at the table said, "Is it the number being projected on the screen?" I looked up and there, in two foot tall numbers, was exactly what I needed. Had I just taken the time to look up from my problem I would have found the solution. 

I often find myself inundated in concerns, deadlines, expectations, bills, parenting, work. I try hard to be optimistic, prioritize and maintain a calm outlook, but periodically I crack. I lie in bed and think about all the things I need to do, or all the things I cannot fix. It makes me feel unbalanced and out of sorts. It is during these times I have to force myself to look up from my problems, my current state of life, and see other things around me. It could be watching something calm and simple, like a sunset. Knowing that no matter how chaotic I allow my life to become, nature still happens around me, indifferent to my personal stress.  Another thing that causes me to look up from my own problems is a dose of perspective. I hear stories about people who are way more resilient than me, who are able to overcome adversity that would leave me in a ball crying, and suddenly my problems don’t seem so serious.  

Finally, during fall break, I started feeling back to my normal self. I felt like things were able to slow down and stabilize. I spend a lot of time focusing on relaxing, taking care of myself, laughing and being with my family. I am able to look back at those moments in my life and appreciate that I could recognize it was happening and take steps to restabilize. I don’t see them as moments of weakness, but rather opportunities for perspective. The turbulent waters helps me appreciate the smooth sailing. Or, in more eloquent statement by Nietzsche, “Was mich nicht umbringt macht mich stärker.” (http://bit.ly/2pjN8vz)


Stephanie Lawless, Assistant Director