• RELATIONAL AGGRESSION

    DEFINITION OF RELATIONAL AGGRESSION:

    In general, relational aggression can be considered to involve any type of behavior or action that is interpersonally related and has a negative influence on a child or adolescent’s relationship with his/her peers (Putallaz & Bierman, 2004).  This type of aggression can be indirect, usually involving a third party, or direct, involving a one-one-one interaction. Relational aggression refers to harm among social relationships caused by covert or hidden bullying or manipulation. Because relational aggression is subtle, it is often times hard to observe and may not appear as typical aggressive behavior. Xie, Swift, Cairns B., and Cairns, R., (2002) define relational aggression as behaviors that damage a child’s friendships or feelings of inclusion by the peer group.

    RELATIONALLY AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORS:

    Behaviors such as social exclusion/isolation, withdrawing or threatening to withdraw or end a friendship, gossiping, spreading rumors, ignoring, stopping talking to a friend, spreading gossip and rumors by email, etc.

    AFFECTS OF RELATIONAL AGGRESSION:

    Evidence has shown that relational aggression may create just as much or more damage than physical aggression among youth (Crick & Grotpeter, 1995). Ellis, Crooks, and Wolfe (2009) report that peer relational aggression perpetration predicts elevated levels of emotional maladjustment in adolescents. Furthermore, Cappella (2006) claims that social aggression has been shown to be a factor in the social and psychological maladjustment of children. Crick and Grotpeter (1995) found that relationally aggressive children were disliked more by their peers than non-relationally aggressive children. Peer rejection leads to low social standing, which can seriously alter a child or adolescent’s ability to form and maintain positive peer relationships and find a place in their peer social groups. Crick and Grotpeter (1995) also reported that relationally aggressive children were lonelier, reported greater isolation from their peers, and experienced more depressive symptoms than their non-relationally aggressive peers. Researchers involved with The Ophelia Project (2005) state that such childhood aggression (i.e. relational aggression) can lead to higher frequencies of depression, school drop-out, substance abuse, early parenthood, delinquency, and other criminal behavior. Furthermore, Skara et al. (2008) report that both physical and relational aggression are predictive of subsequent drug use.

    DEVELOPMENT OF RELATIONAL AGGRESSION BY CHRONOLOGICAL AGE:

    Researchers have found that as early as three years of age, differences in subtypes of aggression between genders may be apparent (Ostrov, Woods, Jansen, Casas, & Crick, 2004; McNeilly-Choque, Hart, Robinson, Nelson, & Olsen, 1996; Crick, Casas, & Mosher, 1997). Additionally, relational aggression is evident at this age (i.e. three years old) as well as in elementary and middle school students, and adolescents (Nixon, 2005). Although relational aggression has been found to be present during these developmental periods, how it is expressed varies with age. Nixon (2005) explained that relational aggression is likely to be more explicit with younger children while becoming more sophisticated and covert as children age. This may be due to the development of social skills and an increase in language use. During middle to late childhood and into adolescence, researchers suggest that due to cognitive development and the complex thinking that is involved in manipulating relationships (i.e. relational aggression); there may be an increase in the frequency of social/relational aggression (Bjorkqvist, 1994; Crick et al., 1999). Gottman and Mettetal (1986) indicated that social aggression may be more prominent during this age period due to children’s strong desire to be accepted by their same-age peers.

    RELATIONAL AGGRESSION WEBSITE RESOURCES:

    http://www.nasponline.org/resources/bullying/relational_aggression.pdf

    http://www.hopehouseonline.org/pages/girls.shtml

    http://bullying.about.com/od/Basics/a/What-Is-Relational-Aggression-And-Why-Do-Kids-Engage-In-It.htm

    http://www.relationalaggression.com/

    FREE DOWNLOADABLE CURRICULUM FOR K – 12TH GRADE FROM THE OPHELIA PROJECT:

    http://www.opheliaproject.org/girls.html

    BOOKS ON RELATIONAL AGGRESSION:


    Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by: Rachel Simmons

     
    Mean Girls: 101 1/2 Creative Strategies for Working With Relational Aggression by: Kaye Randall (Author), LISW-CP & Allyson A. Bowen (Author), LISW-CP (Author), Susan Bowman (Editor)

     
     

    Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl by Rosalind Wiseman

     
    Odd Girl Speaks Out: Girls Write about Bullies, Cliques, Popularity, and Jealousy Paperback by Rachel Simmons 

    Mean Chicks, Cliques, and Dirty Tricks: A Real Girl's Guide to Getting Through it All Paperback by Erika V. Shearin Karres



    ADDITIONAL BOOKS:

    And Words Can Hurt Forever: How to Protect Adolescents from Bullying, Harassment, and Emotional Violence
    James Garbarino & Ellen deLara

    Cliques: Eight Steps to Help Your Child Survive the Social Jungle
    Charlene Giannetti & Margaret Sagarese

     Sticks and Stones. .
    Emily Bazelon  

    Easing the Teasing : Helping Your Child Cope with Name-Calling, Ridicule, and Verbal Bullying
    Judy Freedman

    Slut! Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation
    Leora Tannenbaum

    Fast Girls: Teenage Tribes And The Myth of the Slut
    Emily White

    Rampage: The Social Roots of School Shootings
    Katherine Newman, et al

    Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads: Dealing with the Parents, Teachers, Coaches, and Counselors Who Can Make–or Break–Your Child’s Future
    Wiseman & Rapoport

    Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls
    Mary Pipher


    Surviving Ophelia: Mothers Share Their Wisdom in Navigating the Tumultuous Teenage Years
    Cheryl Dellasega

    GirlWise: How to Be Confident, Capable, Cool, and in Control
    Julia Devillers

    The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School–How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence
    Barbara Coloroso

    Columbine
    Dave Cullen

    Why Kids Kill.  Inside the Minds of School Shooters    .
    Peter Langman

    Comprehending Columbine
     Ralph Larkin

    No Easy Answers:  The Truth Behind Death at Columbine
    Rob Merritt & Brooks Brown

    The Unwritten Rules of Friendship: Simple Strategies to Help Your Child Make Friends
    Natalie Madorsky Elman

    Good Friends Are Hard to Find: Help Your Child Find, Make, and Keep Friends
    Frankel & Wetmore


    Girl Wars: 12 Strategies That Will End Female Bullying
    Cheryl Dellasega

    GirlWise: How to Be Confident, Capable, Cool, and in Control
    Julia Devillers

    Cliques, Phonies, & Other Baloney
    Trevor Romain

    How to Handle Bullies, Teasers and Other Meanies: A Book That Takes the Nuisance Out of Name Calling and Other Nonsense
    Kate Cohen-Posey

    Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me: The Top 25 Friendship Problems and How to Solve Them
    Michele Borba

    Our Last Best Shot: Guiding our Children Through Early Adolescence
    Laura Sessions Stepp


    Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident and Courageous  Daughters
    JoAnn Deak

    The Bully Free Classroom: Over 100 Tips and Strategies for Teachers K-8 (Updated Edition)
    Allan L Beane

    Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do (Understanding Children’s Worlds)) [ILLUSTRATED]
    Dan Olweus

    Mean Girls Grown Up: Adult Women Who Are Still Queen Bees, Middle Bees, and Afraid-to-Bees
    Cheryl Dellasega

    Mean Girls, Meaner Women:  Understanding Why Women Backstab, Betray, and Trash-Talk Each Other and How to Heal
    Erika Holiday and Joan Rosenberg

    In the Company of Women:  Indirect Aggression Among Women:  Why We Hurt Each Other and How to Stop
    Heim, Murphy, Golant


     

    BOOKS FOR YOUNG READERS THROUGH 4TH GRADE:


    My Secret Bully
    Trudy Ludwig

    Just Kidding
    Trudy Ludwig

    Say Something
    Peggy Moss

    Nobody Knew What to Do: A Story About Bullying
    Becky Ray McCain

    Sorry!
    Trudy Ludwig & Maurie Manning

    Too Perfect
    Trudy Ludwig & Lisa Fields

    King of the Playground
    Phyllis Naylor & Nola Malone

    Life with Louie #4:  My Secret Life
    Katy Hall

    Trouble Talk
    Trudy Ludwig and Lisa Fields

    The Recess Queen
    Alexis O’Neill & Laura Huliska-Beith

    Simon’s Hook:  A Story about Teases & Put-Downs
    Karen Gedig Burnett

    How to Lose All Your Friends
    Nancy Carlson

    Bully B.E.A.N.S.
    Julia Cook

    Gossip Times Three
    Amy Goldman Koss


    FICTION FOR PRETEEN AND TEEN READERS: 

    PRE-TEEN READING:

    The Skin I’m In
    Sharon Flake

    Gossip Times Three
    Amy Goldman Koss

    The Girls
    Amy Goldman Koss

    Gossip Girl Series
    Cecily von Ziegesar

    The Clique Series

    TEEN READING:

    Thirteen Reasons Why
    Jay Asher

    Hate List
    Jennifer Brown

    Cat’s Eye
    Margaret Atwood

    Please Stop Laughing at Me: One Woman’s Inspirational Story
    Jodee Blanco

     

    Resources

    Bjorkqvist, K. (1994). Sex differences in physical, verbal, and indirect aggression: A review of recent research. Sex Roles, 30, 177-188.

    Crick, N.R., Casas, J. F., & Mosher, M. (1997). Relational and overt aggression in preschool. Developmental Psychology, 33, 589-600.

    Crick, N. R. & Grotpeter, J. K. (1995). Relational aggression, gender, and social-psychological adjustment. Child Development, 66, 710-722.

    Crick, N. R., Wellman, N. E., Casas, J. F., O’Brien, M. A., Nelson, D. A., Grotpeter, J. K., & Markon, K. (1999). Childhood aggression and gender: A new look at an old problem. In D. Bernstein (Ed.), Nebraska Symposium on Motivation (pp. 75-140). Lincoln: University of Nebraska Press.

    Ellis, W., Crooks, C., & Wolfe, D. (2009). Relational Aggression in Peer and Dating Relationships: Links to Psychological and Behavioral Adjustment. Social Development, 18(2), 253-269.

    Gottman, J. M. & Mettetal, G. (1986). Speculations about social and affective development: Friendship and acquaintanceship through adolescence. In J. M. Gottman & J. G. Parker (Eds.), Conversations with friends: Speculations of affective development (pp. 192-237). New York: Cambridge University Press.

    McNeilly-Choque, M. K., Hart, C. H., Robinson, C. C., Nelson, L. J., & Olsen, S. F. (1996). Overt and relational aggression on the playground: Correspondence among different informants. Journal of Research in Childhood Education, 11, 47-67.

    Nixon, C. (2005). RA & interventions: Reducing relationally aggressive behaviors in middle school students through intervention. Retrieved October 5, 2005 from  http://www.opheliaproject.org/main/documents/RAInterventionStudy_000.pdf.

    Ostrov, J. M., Woods, K. E., Jansen, E. A., Casas, J. F., & Crick, N. R. (2004). An observational study of delivered and received aggression, gender, and social-psychological adjustment in preschool: “This white crayon doesn’t work…” Early Childhood Research Quarterly, 19, 355-371.

    Putallaz, M. & Bierman, K. L. (2004). Aggression, antisocial behavior, and violence among girls: a developmental perspective. New York: The Guilford Press.

    Skara, S., Pokhrel, P., Weiner, M. D., Sun, P., Dent, C. W., & Sussman, S. (2008). Physical and   relational aggression as predictors of drug use: Gender differences among high school students. Addictive Behaviors, 33(12), 1507 – 1515.

    The Ophelia Project. (2005). Bullies, Broken Hearts. Retreived October 6, 2005, from http://www.opheliaproject.org/main/relational_aggression.htm.

    Xie, H., Swift, D. J., Cairns, B. D., & Cairns, R. B. (2002). Aggressive behaviors in social interaction and developmental adaptation: A narrative analysis of interpersonal conflicts during early adolescence. Social Development, 11, 205-224.